This week, I learned a new phrase: self-directed ageism. It is a form of internalized prejudice in which older adults adopt negative stereotypes and beliefs about aging and apply them to themselves—and then we use them against each other.

It shouldn't be a surprise; everything is changing—our bodies, vision, flexibility, hair, sleep patterns, and lifestyle—it can be a lot at once. On top of that, by age 40, 90% of workers have experienced ageism in the workplace (Source: ASE Online). If it starts in your 40s, imagine what it must feel like in your 60s after 20 years of experiencing it.

It's time we reframe AGING, and not doing it puts your health at risk.

While you can't control the outside world, you are YOUR first line of defense. The brain believes what you tell it, so you must mind the stories you are telling yourself.

Consider these examples I have heard from clients:

I am too old to start over.

They don't want to hear it from me.

I don't move as fast as I...

In the journey of leadership, we often hear about the importance of skills, experience, and networking. But there's a less-discussed factor that can be just as crucial: perspective. Recently, I had an enlightening experience that brought this idea into sharp focus.

The Power of Perspective: Insights from Top Executives

Last week, I found myself in a unique position. Seated around a table with a group of powerful executives during a group coaching program I run about women at work, I listened intently as we delved into a pivotal question: When had the switch flipped for them? At what point did they find their confidence, and what changed?

Their responses were both surprising and enlightening. While most admitted to occasionally still experiencing imposter syndrome (a reminder that self-doubt can persist even at the highest levels), they all pointed to a significant change in their professional lives as the catalyst for their increased confidence. For some, it was a new job. For...

From our Brains to the Olympic Podium

We've all been there: locked in a heated argument, hearts racing, faces flushed, desperately trying to prove our point. But why do we get so caught up in being right? And what consequences does this have for ourselves and those around us?

The Brain's Reward System

Our brains are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. When we're right about something, our brains release dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. This creates a sense of satisfaction and reinforces the behavior. Over time, we can become addicted to this feeling, constantly seeking the next "hit" of being right.

The Challenge of Holding Two Truths

One of the most challenging aspects of human cognition is the ability to hold two seemingly contradictory ideas as true simultaneously. This concept, known as cognitive dissonance, can be uncomfortable for our brains. We often prefer simple, black-and-white thinking because it's less cognitively demanding and...

In the elusive hunt for a mentor, consider that a Thought Partner can be just as valuable to your personal and professional growth.

What is a Thought Partner? It goes beyond a co-worker, a manager, or a friend. A thought partner is someone who shares your interests and curiosities. They believe in abundance, are driven to think bigger, want more, and are always ready to explore. 

Here is how to spot the relationship:

• Your conversations are rarely transactional; you spend much of your time co-creating, solving problems, and dreaming of the future
• You push each other to think bigger beyond your current situation
• You both seek the unknown and then find the answers
• You want the best for each other
• There is no competition, no one has to "be" smarter - you are both smart
• You appreciate each other's strengths
• You look for ways to lean in and support the success of each individually 
• You go down rabbit holes of inspiration
• You co-create, and no one takes or needs the credit
...

Despite the widespread acknowledgment of mentorship's benefits, many individuals face a daunting challenge: finding a suitable mentor. Mentorship is a tricky road because while some programs will "match" you with a mentor, the mentee and mentor must connect on a deeper level to get the whole experience. 

Mentorship requires dedication on both sides but is not always a reciprocal relationship. One person gives more and is needed more, and not always at opportune times for the giver. Now, the mentor does get a reward; they experience a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction through the dopamine boosts derived from feeling needed, offering valuable advice, and the positive emotions associated with contributing to others' growth and well-being.

As you pursue a mentor, remember what you ask of this person. They need to be able to make the time for you, be honest and willing to provide difficult feedback and push you out of your comfort zone into the space where growth happens....

We all have those moments when self-deprecation feels like an escape route, a way to avoid facing discomfort. Instead of viewing the situation as an opportunity for growth, we quickly resort to self-limiting beliefs, such as thinking we're not smart enough, strong enough, or good enough.

Maybe you believe something is missing:
There is not enough time or money.

Perhaps you give it to others:
They deserve it more.
They will be better at it.
I could never do as good of a job.

Or is it about something you are lacking:
I am too old (or too young).
I am not ready.
I don't know enough.
I can't change it.

Do you struggle with priorities or not wanting to appear selfish:
I have other responsibilities.

And then there is the doozy - tied to our identity - how will it look?
They won't take me seriously.
I will look stupid.

Does any of this sound familiar? Our limiting beliefs come in all shapes and sizes, as the stories we tell ourselves - stopping us from moving forward.

But when we recognize it as a...

It is starting to happen, the question, "Do you have a New Year's Resolution?" Whether it is just small talk or curiosity, it is a question you can expect to get at least once this time of year. But before you blow off the idea of a New Year's Resolution, let's discuss why and how you should do it.

Maybe you have heard these statistics before, but only 3% of people set goals, yet setting goals makes you 42% more likely to achieve goals. So, if you want something different for yourself in the new year, just knowing the math proves setting goals is a good idea.

So, why do you hesitate to do it? Could it be the fear of failure? Having to admit that you have already failed by mid-January, breaking your New Year's Resolution is demoralizing.

Failure, or admitting to ourselves that something might be impossible, can be scary. Even worse, when we attach the goal to our identity, if we fail, then we, too, become a failure. It's essential to remember that the outcomes do not define...

Doing the work at work is not the most challenging part of the job. But when we are in it, the difficult journey of growth and development is often left to on-the-job training.

What if there was a better way? What if creating awareness of how we build safe spaces for our teams to thrive changed everything? Because, let's be honest - it is not the situation that causes us to react or respond, but more often, the meaning we are giving to the situation.

For example -

Situation: The company experiences a decline in quarterly profits.

Meaning 1: If you interpret this decline as a sign of personal failure or incompetence, you might feel stressed, anxious, or even defensive when discussing the financial results with the board.

Meaning 2: Conversely, if you view the decline as an opportunity to reassess strategies, identify areas for improvement, and implement changes for future growth, you might feel motivated, proactive, and resilient in addressing the challenges.

In this scenario, the...

Stepping into her new role, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of unease.

Working alongside Ph.D.s was uncharted territory for her. Before a single word was exchanged, she filled her mind with doubts. What if they asked her questions she couldn't answer? What if they ignored her completely? The idea of being approached by a team of Ph.D.s, eager to hear her thoughts, was a scenario she never could have fathomed in a different industry.

You see, she worked for the same company for over 25 years.

She held several jobs and moved up, down, and sideways as the company expanded and contracted.

She loved the job until she didn't, yet she still stayed too long.

One day, the fear of staying finally overcame the fear of going.

Once she did the work, she had opportunities she could not have imagined previously.

It was beyond her wildest dreams a year ago; now, it is her life.

What dreams have you not yet dreamed?

Ready to explore what a promotion or job move would mean to your future? Let's...

Everyone is feeling the pressure of inflation, including your company, making it even more critical that you are the leader that gets ahead of the conversation. Depending on when your fiscal year ends, your company may be getting close to budgeting season. This means you need to be planning ahead. If you plan to ask for a raise, a promotion or have an idea for a new role that is literally "built for you" or someone on your team, you need to start developing your strategy to present the case for yourself and the high performers on your team.

The bottom line is there will be a pool of money - some companies divide it equally among every team member. Others divvy it out according to performance. Many hold a portion of the "raise pool" aside to care for those below the range or at risk. 

Keeping the leadership team up to date with employee performance, risks, and expectations ensures you and your team are part of the conversation once the budget is in place and they start meeting...