Reframe Your Age: Career Success Strategies for Seasoned Leaders

This week, I learned a new phrase: self-directed ageism. It is a form of internalized prejudice in which older adults adopt negative stereotypes and beliefs about aging and apply them to themselves—and then we use them against each other.

It shouldn't be a surprise; everything is changing—our bodies, vision, flexibility, hair, sleep patterns, and lifestyle—it can be a lot at once. On top of that, by age 40, 90% of workers have experienced ageism in the workplace (Source: ASE Online). If it starts in your 40s, imagine what it must feel like in your 60s after 20 years of experiencing it.

It's time we reframe AGING, and not doing it puts your health at risk.

While you can't control the outside world, you are YOUR first line of defense. The brain believes what you tell it, so you must mind the stories you are telling yourself.

Consider these examples I have heard from clients:

I am too old to start over.

They don't want to hear it from me.

I don't move as fast as I used to move.

I'm not sure what I bring to the table anymore.

Not managing your mindset puts your finances, health, job satisfaction, and cognitive abilities at risk.

So, where do you start?

Have an opinion, but don't hold on too tight to having the answer.

You bring a unique perspective to every conversation. Research shows that having diverse age groups in teams leads to better problem-solving. However, the best leaders create psychological safety by creating space for healthy conversations and unique viewpoints. Challenge yourself to ask questions you don't know the answer to; it creates better solutions and richer dialogue.

While physical changes are natural and visible, the mental, emotional, and social gains are substantial and often undervalued. Leverage your years of experience to explore pattern recognition. Remember to consider how your experience has built more nuanced decision-making skills. This wisdom only comes with time.

Bring your work ethic, but don't judge the work ethic of others.

Many leaders of a "certain age" have given everything they have to their jobs. With this comes stability and sometimes the judgment of other generations. The good news is that you can get a big project over the finish line. The bad news is that not every generation wants to give everything up to work like we did. Look for the balance, but help emerging leaders see the ebb and flow of workload. It is time that we stop giving every hour to work and start holding boundaries and setting better work-life-integration examples.

Your time is valuable; invest it in those around you.

You are busy, but investing in others will make you memorable and invaluable. Mentorship is changing; look for a relationship where you both benefit. Reverse mentorship and mentorship together build powerful partnerships. When mutual growth is the goal, parties activate essential brain functions that enhance learning and connection while experiencing heightened self-worth and confidence, knowing their knowledge and experiences are valued.

Leverage your networks

There are 8 Career Narratives that we must all manage and drive for successful careers. Networking is the most critical skill for career advancement and yet the most underdeveloped. It takes hours of investment in your network to see the ROI.

As expectations of job stability are no longer promised or expected, many of my clients engage me as their job search coach. When we bring up their network, they hesitate, saying they have not invested the time they should have over the years. To their surprise, as we dig in, even a neglected network is willing and ready to support them.

It is never too late to start networking or turn to your network, your most valuable career asset. Even an investment of thirty minutes a week of networking internally and externally can change your career.

Embrace new ideas - especially technology.

Your brain's job is to protect you, so the resistance you feel to new ideas is a protection mode that you have to manage. When I say manage, I mean fight through the resistance and push yourself to do the uncomfortable.

Understanding and saying your fears out loud—even in a bathroom stall, closed office, or inside your car where no one can hear you—puts your brain on notice that you are invested in growth and exploration. Your ability to create Career Consciousness around your fears will drive growth.

Don't forget the elephant in the room—there is a clear age bias that they think we can't adopt new technology. Of course, it doesn't help that we often broadcast our frustration with an eye roll or sarcasm whenever we acquire a new platform or passcode; help yourself and the rest of us embrace it—it is not going away. You can do it - you have to believe you can.

Find outlets to work on your confidence.

Seven in ten people fight the nagging feeling of not belonging (Imposter Syndrome); despite their obvious achievements, they wrestle with persistent self-doubt, convinced someone will eventually expose them as frauds.

However, awareness is the first step. Journaling, therapy, and coaching are all effective methods for building confidence, each offering unique benefits.

Journaling can be utilized anytime, anywhere, and you can start today. It is an excellent practice for self-reflection and enhancing self-awareness. The best part is that it's free, and you can go at your own pace. I love the free-flowing self-expression that it allows while promoting positive self-talk.  

Therapy is conducted by a mental health professional and addresses underlying issues that contribute to low self-esteem. It supports exploring past experiences that affect self-confidence and helps you develop coping strategies.

Coaching is more future-focused, understanding what is driving behaviors. It often supports the development of a positive mindset and overcoming fear, and it helps set and achieve specific goals. My practices focus on moving from strategy to consciousness, elevating your leadership and clarity for your desired life and work life.

All tools can effectively build confidence depending on your needs and specific situation. Each investment compounds your development as a leader and human being.

Set new goals

Life is fluid. Hanging on too tight to your goals blocks your view as new opportunities present themselves. In the book "15 Lies Women Are Told at Work," Bonnie Hammer shares the lie - "follow your dreams" and advocates that we should be "following opportunities."

I work with leaders to envision their careers three years at a time in three-year increments. This provides ample time for skill and relationship building, plus the time you need to create an impact through your contributions. We look at the building blocks necessary to get to that "next" goal and where else those building blocks could take them.

The goal is to have options. As uncomfortable as it is, the world is changing quickly, and we have to be prepared to change with it.

Give yourself a break.

Not every day is perfect. The more consciousness you build around your feelings, the more honest you can be with your development. Sometimes, you just need to live within the imperfection. 

Speak up

Ageism is discrimination. It is essential to examine your biases and understand the thoughts and behaviors that may hold you back. Next is about the conversations and how ageist comments affect you personally and those around you. But the first conversation has to start internally. How you treat yourself will drive your future.

Life is complicated, but age does not have to be your enemy. In fact, for added incentive, people with a positive mindset about aging live 7.5 years longer than those who view aging negatively (Source: The Journalist's Resource research by Yale psychologist Becca Levy and team).

The best first step is to work on your own biases about aging. Self-awareness leads to more authentic living, better boundaries, and a greater ability to focus on what matters.

It starts with you.