When did we stop adulting at work?
Do you have a situation where you or someone you know is not showing up authentically at work? What is keeping leaders from adulting in those critical situations? When did it become so hard to show up as your true self?
Culture. Culture can be a truth killer. Unfortunately, there are still many situations where employees are told "that is not the way we do it" or "it doesn't feel right for our culture." Maybe we are second-guessing ourselves because it has never been done "that way" here. The question should be, but what are the possibilities if we did it "that way" here? We sometimes forget that change can be good, even if it is uncomfortable.
Communication Skills. Maybe adulting feels hard because you have an unpopular point of view and you are don't know exactly how to articulate your case. Maybe you were caught off guard or are in a meeting where difficult decisions are being made or maybe there are company politics in play between leaders. Building time into your day to prepare for more challenging meetings sets you up for success and helps you prepare to deliver your thoughts authentically.
Sensitivity. It's not personal, it's business, and that is why they are paying you. Everyone likes to receive feedback differently, but if you are avoiding a conversation because it will be challenging, you are doing a disservice to that person, yourself, and your organization. We can't get better without feedback.
Confidence. Confidence is built over time. Those who fall and get back up learn more, develop more skills and find more success. But you have to start somewhere. I have personally found my confidence has peaks and valleys, and I see the same with my clients. I also see regret after the fact when they don't speak up. You can't be bitter about a situation when you did not try to make a difference, and taking it offline to discuss without the decision-makers never does any good. Remember, you can't win them all, but knowing you did your best goes a long way.
What is the cost of not adulting at work? Mediocrity, stagnancy, lack of innovation, and lack of development, just to name a few. You can't move an organization forward without differing viewpoints, healthy discussions, and challenging situations. However, the most significant toll I see with my clients when they or someone they work with is not adulting - happiness. Don't we owe it to ourselves and others, tell the truth, listen to other points of view, and learn from each other?
The lack of adulting decreases our happiness and our confidence, and for some, it leads to paranoia. Of course, you know all of this. You knew how this blog would end. But how will it show up differently this week? Or can you help someone else find the courage to show up differently? Are you the leader that shares your point of view last to truly get all viewpoints? Allowing everyone to feel like their point of view counts will create purpose and growth. It will also reduce turnover, saving your organization millions. But that is a conversation for another day.
Need a safe space to work out how you can show up differently at work? Let's talk about how a coach can keep your career moving forward!